District Attorney’s Advice to Victim/Witnesses
Tell the truth at all times. Do not exaggerate or minimize the
abuser’s violence. No one deserves to be beaten, terrorized, or
hurt. Try to find the will and courage to end the violence. It is
truly best to let the truth prevail. No one is helped by speaking
untruths or hiding abuse by silence.
- You must appear in court as a witness.
Honor this responsibility, especially when subpoenaed. Do not
hide away, leave town, or fail to appear at court proceedings when
requested by the prosecutor or ordered by the court. The real
truth of what happened may not be presented if you are absent. The
court may issue a warrant for your arrest if you ignore the
subpoena. The District Attorney’s Victim-Witness
Assistance Program can help you through the process. You can
reach them at (800) 380-3811.
- You must do what you can to keep yourself safe.
Be concerned about your safety. Do not negotiate or compromise
about your personal safety because of the abuser’s promises to
reform. An abuser’s promise to get counseling is no guarantee the
violence will stop. An abuser’s promise that "it won’t happen
again" is useless without the court’s help to enforce it. A
restraining order or a stay away order will allow the police to
arrest the abuser when notified of violation, and it will limit
the abuser’s legal access to firearms. Consider getting a
restraining order even though it cannot guarantee your safety.
Devise a plan for your safety by calling the Domestic Violence
Hotline at 1-800-978-3600 for "A SAFE WAY OUT."
- You must keep your children safe.
Protect your children, even if you fail to see a danger to
yourself. Your children are at risk whenever there is violence in
the home – they have a 50% chance of being abused by the person
who abuses you. They suffer emotionally and psychologically from
witnessing and hearing attacks on you. Do not believe the abuser
is only hurting you and not them. Your children need you to stay
well and alive. Your children hurt when they see you hurt. If you
knowingly allow your children to be abused by someone, you could
be charged with child endangerment.
- You must not allow your abuser to believe it’s okay to abuse
you or your children.
What your abuser did to you or your child is wrong. This
message needs to be delivered to the abuser in a way that keeps
you and your family safe. No one has the right to assault or
terrorize another person, not even a spouse, boyfriend,
girlfriend, or lover. No one has the right to neglect or injure a
child in his or her custody. If the abuser is not held
accountable, the abuse may continue; it will happen more often;
and the injuries will be more severe. Do not let the abuser sway
you with excuses. There is no excuse for domestic violence!!!
There is no excuse for abusing a child!!!
- You must allow yourself to heal.
The emotional and psychological scars from family violence
often remain long after the physical wounds have healed. Fear,
loyalty, love, anger, self-blame, betrayal, family pressures,
financial insecurity and other emotions may cloud your ability to
move on to the next phase in your life with or without the abuser.
There are counselors waiting to help you move from "victim" to
"survivor" of family violence. Reach out and accept their
assistance. The District Attorney’s Victim-Witness
Assistance Program can help you find the support you need.
They can be reached at (800) 380-3811.